Hello every one, first off I'd like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my previous post, I cannot believe the response I have had. I have spoken to so many people who have been though something similar. To know that I'm not the only one, has been so reassuring. So what has been happening in the past week? Well I feel like I am starting to feel much better. The fact I can go to the supermarket and not feel like I need to chase my mum about like a little kid. Honestly thought we were going to need wrist reigns at some point. Now - I am free!! Woo! I don't even just mean in the supermarket sense, but even being able to go a walk to the shops if I fancy, or go and meet friends. I feel a lot more confident in being able to go out by myself, although it is still a work in progress. I have still had to coax myself in to going out, in the past week the thought of going out has been a bit scary, but in most cases when I go out I have a great time, no panic attacks, and if I do feel anxious it kind of passes.
Two weekends a go I would say is when I really noticed the difference, being able to go shopping and be comfortable - well as comfortable as you can be in a mall with artificial lights and central heating on in June. I went to my lovely next door neighbours wedding. Which I enjoyed so much, I was able to be fully in the moment, and the thought of leaving never crossed my mind, where previously this would have been racing through my head. I also got some good photos with my folks.
Also lets just take a moment to look at how big my hair is in the first photo in this post, compared to how it looked later that night. Honestly my hair doesn't hold volume. Haha!
I do at some point want to talk about hypnotherapy as this is what has helped me turn everything around. I am going to speak to my hypnotherapist first though, because I want to make sure I'm writing about it properly. Got to do these things right, after all.
I was also trying to think about what other tips I have picked up. Breathing is amazing, like I know in general it's grand, but breathing properly really sorts out your body & mind. Nice deep breathing, is really relaxing, and can be done anywhere. Although I used to feel a tad self conscious doing this in public, I was worried someone was going to be over and be like - 'how far apart are your contractions?, you're doing great'. Thank full this never happened. Exercise is rather good for you, I used to roll my eyes at this because my sofa is almost attached to me - oh the shame. I started swimming when I was running out of options of things to help, bought myself a proper swimsuit and goggles, and went for it. It was the only thing that I actually enjoyed enough to make me want to leave the house. It's nice because it makes you aware of your body, and how the movement of my arms and legs, functions of my heart and lungs keep me moving, and my head above water (haha in all senses).
Another wee tip I follow, is to have faith. Can be religious if that's your thing, but faith in other people, and if you can do it, faith yourself will help you get through. Seeing the good in people always makes me feel better, and stops me thinking about negative people/situations. If I think about someone I don't get on with, I try to thing about their good points, maybe a skill they have or I dunno, good at their job or something, and it makes me feel better about that person, and I feel pretty good about myself for being the bigger person. Before you know it you'll be feeling better and go for wild nights out with your best pals. This is a photo of me and my bestie Michelle on Thursday night. Actually going out for a drink and staying out to get tipsy is progress - as I said to my therapist 'I feel like I've released the beast'. Uh oh.
Obviously I'm not saying go out and get plastered, but being able to go out for a couple of drinks and being able to relax is something I enjoy. Ooft serious bit there, but anyone who deals with mental health will tell you that drinking is not a wise idea.
Also having a song that makes you feel better helps psych you up for the day, or even help if you're out and about. This is mine, and I think the title is so appropriate.
Thanks again for reading,